Identify

Who I was, August 2004.
Tomorrow I ship off to boot camp. I am so stoked!! I am ready to become one of the few. I just finished watching Full Metal Jacket and I am pumped up to get out of this town!! My mom and dad had a big party for my going away and got to see my chick. I'm gonna miss her. I'm gonna miss everyone! Semper Fi!

Who I was, Thanksgiving Day 2005.
Inmate# 561, Base Brig. My parents came to see me today. They drove all the way from Texas to see me for a few short hours. I wish I could go home. I don't belong here. I have been incarcerated for a little more than a month now and my girl doesn't come by much anymore. The last time I saw her, she reeked of booze and couldn't keep awake during our visitation. I don't like waiting a whole week just to "maybe" see her. Thinking of her keeps me going strong. I miss her so much. She's probably going though hell just like me. As long as we keep praying, God will help us pull though. I have faith in my heart. Just another month left. I can do this.

Who I was, August 2006.
I am a Private in the USMC. We just landed in Kuwait and it is hot as hell! I have now officially earned my overseas deployment ribbon! We fly to TQ tomorrow and then convoy to Fallujah. This is what I've trained for. I am gonna come back home a war hero and tell my stories to everyone. I gotta say that I am a little scared though. The older Marines tell ugly stories about this place. They say that combat is a guarantee and that not all of us will come home. But I am ready. This is my calling. Ooh-Rah!!

Who I was, March 2007.
Camp Pendleton. I can see them though the windows. Waiting for us with their giant signs waving in the air. "Welcome Home" I grab my gear and get ready to get off the bird. I'm looking for my wife but can't find her. There are too many people here...
I did it. I made it home. Something is wrong inside though. I'm scared to get off the plane. Everyone is going to want to ask me about the war.. what do I tell them? Do I lie? I'll just keep quiet. No need to talk. I can see her now. She is so very beautiful. I can't hardly wait to give her a hug and a big kiss! Door is open. Here I go...

Who I was Two Years ago.
A Lance Corporal in the United States Marine Corps. I am in Camp Fallujah with the 1st Combat Logistics Battalion, Charlie Company, Operations Platoon. Today, I finished packing all my gear and ready to make movement to our new home in Ramadi. Tomorrow we travel into the city. Ahead of the rest of the Battalion, we are on a route recon mission to make sure there is no visible threat on the way to our new location. I Enjoy being with my best friends. The missions are very tough and its extremely hot this time of year. Morale is kinda low but my friends and I keep our heads up. I would never make it without them. All I think about is getting home safely but I never let it cloud my mind. The mission comes first. So far, we have not had to fire our weapons once! Much better than the first time I came to Fallujah... I love and miss my wife very much. And my pug, Yoda. I miss that little fucker too!!

One year Ago.
I stay in my room all day. The tension is thick between us. I hate her for not being able to understand. I hate myself for not being able to confide in her. I can't help but think of the affair all the time. I try to open up to her but fail. Its like my trust towards her is trapped inside a brick wall. Oh well...
Yoda, pisses on the carpet a lot. Outside he goes again!! Mom doesn't come by to visit like I wish she would. Kinda makes me sad a little. I have to go by and talk to dad though. Been having bad dreams again. Whenever we talk, I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. He is a very wise man. Hell, If only I could be half the man that he is. Such a strong individual.
Got a job interview coming up!! This new job should be fun. Easy, normal people job. This whole phasing into the civilian lifestyle thing isn't so hard. Not as hard as the Marine Corps made it seem. I think their just trying to scare us into not getting out. Glad I did though.
Happy, happy, happy...

Who I am today.
My name is Eric and I live in Odessa, Texas. I work in the medical field and deal with good people on a daily basis. My hobbies include: gaming, writing, music and spending time alone. I have strong Atheist beliefs but few people know. I am currently going through a divorce. She moved back to Florida and I haven't seen her in almost a year. She took the dog too..
Money is very tight and I'm not really coping too well with my dad leaving our family. He ran off with some slut. I hate him...
Not feeling very happy today either. I have bouts with my depression, and I am very lonely. I have flashbacks about 3 times a day. Its pretty much the same one, over and over again. I find concentrating on tasks very difficult. I've been having trouble sleeping and very bad dreams when I do. I wish someone would come and hold me now... I trust no one and I don't think anyone trusts me either. That's okay. I have become quite the chameleon. But you know who I really am, don't you?? I can always talk to my lonely, little blog. :-)

ej