Need Help...

Hey,



So here's the thing...

I'm trying to get an article printed in my local newspaper. My only problem is that I really have never formally written an article before.



Back before I joined the military, the local paper ran an article on two individuals joining the U.S. military straight out of high school and our plans for the future. Yeah, I was one of them. Well, now that my four years are nearly complete, I am going to try and get them to allow me to write a follow-up on that article four years later.



This is just a rough draft of my article. Please read and give lots of advice.

I've never done this before...







"Untrue Patriot"

By Eric Juarez



4 years ago, I signed a contract that would throw me head first into a world I never knew existed. From my life as a 19 year old, proud American boy, eager to "uphold the constitution" to a burned out 23 year old, Iraqi veteran. I was never the perfect Hollywood American hero. Shortly into my career, I began to defy. I refused to follow orders and I eventually led myself down a path of anger and confusion. I questioned my devotion to the "cause" and my belonging to a controversial war. I continued to rebel and it eventually led me to be charged under the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

I remember being escorted to the base brig to a outdoor enclosure to await processing. Posted on the chain link fence was a sign that would haunt me for the next few years. The sign read "Those who are not with us are against us." I felt horrible. I began to ask myself if I was behaving un-American like. I turned my back on my country by refusing to obey in the organization that upholds our freedom.

I had an awakening.

The USMC gave me the option to be discharged from the military on a bad conduct discharge which was also the court martials most likely ruling based on the charges filed against me. The JAG lawyer assigned to my case, suggested, If i wanted to stay in and finish my contract, I needed to plead guilty and convince the judge that I was still worthy in serving in Marine Corps. I fought hard. I owed the military that much. The judge sentenced me to three months military confinement, loss of 66% in deduction of pay for six months and recirculation the the United States Marine Corps at the rank of Private. I was also sentenced a one-year probation period. Any further hiccups and my time in the military would be finished, indefinitely.

The fleet took me back with much discretion. My previous unit refused to re-instate and so I was juggled from unit to unit. I refused to allow my effort to go down in vain. It didn't take long for a unit preparing for deployment to assign me to the rosters. I felt ready and I was proud again.
I was given a second chance.

Iraq is not how it seems on television. There are not hordes of infantrymen constantly engaging the enemy. Firefights are becoming less and less and IED's are becoming our biggest problem. I flew overseas with stories of "What happened this one time..." The troops talk about how much the war has changed from the initial battle for Fallujah to the present war. They would say that they were "robbed" of their war. Too many contractors doing our work for us. Too many civilians working for companies like KBR and the other corporate giants living off the war. They were sucking us dry of our pride. Our war had turned into a circus...

Our unit came back to the states suffering 3 losses during the seven month deployment. All of them, victims of roadside bombs. I was transferred to another unit along with a few others. The new unit was set do deploy in a little less then a year. Six months of training to re-deploy back to Fallujah, I was promoted back to my original rank of Lance Corporal by the time training was completed. We were ready to go back to Iraq.

Almost immediately after getting situated in Camp Fallujah, we suffered our first loss of the deployment. Four Marines had been hit my an IED outside of the city. The vehicle that they were riding in, a Humvee, was completely torn in two. From then on, the unit decided that Humvee's are no longer to be utilized for driving off base. We were only allowed to drive the military's new MRAP type vehicles due to the fact that they are better suited to deflect the blast associated with roadside bombings. During the deployment, orders were given to relocate to Ramadi. We were told that Camp Fallujah is scheduled to be Demilitarized soon. A small step to coming home for good.

I am now in Ramadi for the remainder of the deployment and will be separating from the Marine Corps in October and. I will be returning home to Odessa.

I will have reached the end of my active service and be discharged under honorable conditions. And yet I still wonder, Did I make the right decision?
I hope so.




I know its not perfect and that's why I ask for your help. I really want to send this in and not look like a jackass.
Anything helps, grammar advice, wording, phrasing, anything.

ej