Verto Cuspis

13 October 2005- ?


It happened all to fast.
I'm lost. Disoriented. Shaking...

The white lines are blurring, Headlights blinding...

My phone rings- my girlfriend- "I don't really want to answer it, do I?!?" I tell myself "It's just a distraction." I throw it out the window. It feels as if I just turned my back on the only shred of hope I had left. No worries though. I'll just turn up the music and drive...


14 October 2005- 2 p.m.

Its done. I've made up my mind...

No more. I will not go down with out a fight.
I can't hear my music any more, Gotta go faster!! Every look in the mirror sends a chill up my spine. There was only one an hour ago, now there's three? Four?
"There is now way I'm gettin' out of this. It's done! What are you running for!?! Pull ov-", I shove all weakness from my mind...


14 October 2005- 4 p.m.

Dead silence.

I look aside. I beautiful woman is staring into my eyes. Her mouth are forming words but I hear nothing. Beautiful face...

I can't hear you.
nothing.


? October 2005- ?

My wrists are cold, chromed steel. I know this feeling all too well. Somethings different though, this is not a jail cell. Its a hospital... I'm dying.

Were is my love? I'm alone...


17 October 2005- 3 a.m.


The clash of the door startles me. Nearly naked with a book in each hand. In my right I have a book titled Rules and Regulations, Camp Pendelton Base Brig. The other book is titled Holy Bible. "Interesting combination."

I toss them aside and make my way to the dull, scratched sheet of metal above the sink/toilet. "crappy makeshift mirror."

I stare into my eyes trying to find what little soul still in my body. I prepare to fight the most violent war known to man. The battlefield has been presented to me, solitary confinement. I squeeze my fists and grit my teeth.

Its going to be a long, hellish night...



Welcome home.

Sic Ego Sum Rebellis, Sic Quis?!?

I pride myself in being individual. Unfortunately, the people I work for don't really care for my individuality. I understand that unit cohesion and teamwork is our core-strength. I follow orders and adhere to their commands. I do not want to become one of them... A drone... Brainwashed... Motivated. So ignorant these people, and big-headed too. I don't even know what the real problem is... where this anger comes from.

Yeah, I acted that way once, a long-time ago. Proud to be what I am. Stand tall for our purpose. I have seen and done things that I would like to forget. I have seen this organization turn its back on the very same people who carry its colors in and out of battle. People who sacrifice everything and take nothing. I was there. I'm one of them...

Eventually my voice will be heard as well as the others who choose to rebel against the system.
Our day will come...

Long live the Corps...

Amor Est Vitae Essentia

Greetings,

Sorry for the extended absence. I've been busy getting to know my wife, again.
The extended absence has left its mark as far as bringing back individuality. It was odd trying to reconnect with each other and pick up where we left off. I'm not going to lie. Things got a little turbulent between us and the arguments have been a little intense. She loves me and I love her and nothing in this world can change that. We've grown stronger.


enough about that.

Well I'm happy to be gettin' back to the "daily grind" of the seemingly repetitive workweek... You know, the way things were before leaving...

Ahhh....... Home.